Connection

What is it? How do you find and keep it?

I've been contemplating this a lot recently, and it's a hard thing for me to answer, honestly. I feel connected with everyone and everything or nothing and no one all within a day's span. Or maybe I think I'm connected, but it's in vain. I have struggled with forming and keeping meaningful relationships in my life, especially with family and close friends - and we all know that these are the relationships that help us, guide us, shape us, and drive us the most...even to form relationship with ourself, and with others ouside of the family/close friend realm.

So, readers, send me your thoughts - what activities, beliefs, habits, people, places, things make you feel connected to (this is up you, but I'm thinking connected to yourself at the very innermost core)?

What motivates you to stay connected to this source? How do you maintain this connection?

I've always felt, for example, a connection to fine art - drawing and painting - but either my duty as a student or my decision to act as a model have all influenced this connection (or have they?) and I find myself doubting myself all. the. time. Maybe that doesn't much to do with how I connect to myself, but my sense is that my sense of connection with myself is pretty fucked/broken/whatever. So I'd love to hear what others think about this. 

Feel free to comment here or email me directly at mauvais.artmodel@gmail.com.

I may have discovered the beginnings of what may become the content of my BFA thesis....

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