A Post About Props

I like to keep my potential and current collaborators updated with things about me so they can better understand my interests, personality, character, and capabilities. Here I had just thought that I should highlight the random costumes, props, and miscellaneous items I own that could make for nice additions to a photo(shoot), a drawing session, whatever :]

Once-Living 

♦ I own several bone bits and skulls, none very large

♦ I own a white wolf tail, two silverfox tails and a coyote tail.

♦ several collections of feathers, including peacock (normal and bleached), turkey, rooster, hawk/owl, pheasant, etc.

Accessories 

♦LOADS of jewelry - seriously

♦hip/belly chains

♦scarves, fabric

♦skeleton keys

♦black metal handcuffs 

♦old perfume bottles (not the antique kind with the puffer thing)

Costume/Misc Clothing Items 

♦bodices
♦sheer & lace "nighties"
♦lacy leotard as well as a full body leotard (black)

♦an underbust corset in  black

♦a black and red reversible velvet cloak

♦knee-high platform boots of the goth variety - no high heel, lots of straps/buckles

♦an awesome black cyber-goth outfit! complete with garter leg flares, halter top and mini skirt

♦a small collection of lingerie, tights, thigh high tights (no garters currently, if you purchase me a garter belt you get to shoot me in it! )

♦formal dresses

♦hood hats, fuzzy with ears ^_^

♦pocket/hip belts

♦black satin elbow-gloves

♦feather boas

♦masks

♦leather bra that I made (looks rustic)

Potential Props 

♦daggers

♦crystals

♦candelabra 

♦woven baskets

♦HULA HOOPS! -minis, fire, LED, and normal 

♦a lantern
♦a crystal ball 
♦chains
♦a black briefcase

Lapse

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oM1pAo7yM88

A lapse of time....since I last wrote. 

Back track to late summer of 2013 - that is when these photos are from. 

It was a successful shoot, and these are some of the final edits and some of my favorite exploration edits from it (I just got them, wee!). By now, my hair is shorter and a little less wild.

All photos are from Alen Barbosa, 2013.

These images were taken from a small photo 'class'. I modeled for the afternoon session after the lovely Dakini, who I had the chance of at least saying "hey! nice to meet you!" to, at least, when she was leaving. I remember thinking at the time that I was so surprised each time I've met another model in person that they seem so small in person than they appear in their photos - as in, they are small framed, with lovely petite features, unlike how they seem in photos, where I imagine them being super tall and grandiose. Either way, I think it's great :]

(classic Mauvais torso shot ;P)

Fast forward to now ... 

I am beginning to schedule some shoots for the near future, but I am still modeling for the GGA, almost full time it seems. It's been almost a week since I've been there, however. The last time I was there, I was modeling for a night session with a small group of artists. There was a fierce wind storm and as I was posing I noticed the lights flicker several times. I had the feeling the power would go out unexpectedly at any moment....which... it did. After some time passed, and we knew it may not come back for several hours, everyone dispersed. No, I was not posing when the lights went out, but it wouldn't have bothered me if they had. I've enjoyed the time off and I haven't. I continue to go back and forth between feeling good and feeling unhappy. I need to take care of myself.

Tumblr

Mauvais art model now has a tumblr :} 

(happy dance photo! teehee :] taken by Ralph Moon, 2013)

For your viewing pleasure,

http://mauvaisartmodel.tumblr.com/

Friends, Admirers...

It's been a while. I've been modeling mostly for my artist and painter folk, which always leaves my blog void of photos to share. But I do have some photos to share from recent shoots! As always, I'm happy to see, share, and reflect on my work and the work of others which represents, explores or depicts me as a subject....

Photo: sgrìob, 2013

Photo: sgrìob, 2013

Photo: sgrìob, 2013

Photo: sgrìob, 2013

Photo: sgrìob, 2013

Photo: sgrìob, 2013

--

 And this one could almost use it's own space for a blog post. I've been feeling a little uncertain about my body modifications (ear piercings, tattoo) lately. Because I model so frequently for artists and photographers who seem to admire, value, and adore the in-modified and "timeless" look that is of pure form and "natural" beauty, I can't help but feel a bit out of place when I'm posing for someone who may view my mods as ugly, unnatural, and may make the judgement that I'm an inferior model for having chosen to do such things. So far I do believe I've been lucky in that the people I've worked with do not have such a view - or, if they do, they make the exception for me? In any case, it's somewhat of an insecurity I suppose, and I love it when I can find images that remind me that even with the tattoo, I have a lovely back and that my ink and mods do not take away from my beauty. No matter what.

I could honestly write even more on the subject, but I don't intend to at the moment.

Photo: sgrìob, 2013

Photo: Ryan Frederickson, 2013

This one could use a whole blog post to itself, I adore it. My boyfriend needed photos for inspiration for painting ideas, and so we set about on a kind of impromptu photoshoot. He'd recently collected this AMAZING ram skull from the trash (I know, the TRASH!) and of course I wanted to get some photos with it, regardless of if he was planning on using them as reference for anything <3

Recently with Mauvais...

After the glorious Salon Nuit in SF. Photo by Ryan Frederickson, October 2013.

I love abandoned places. Photo: Dan West, September 2013.

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I love the simplicity of this image, and all the repeated patterns in it (the squares/rectangles, the lines of the stairs and my ribs). I also like how my body is nearly silhouetted. 

Reflection...(Dan West, September 2013)

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I'm not afraid to stand in cold, stagnant water as long as it's shallow. Preferably, it'd be clear enough to see my feet. I would love to do more work like this!

Shadowplay...(Ryan Frederickson, 2013)

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I quickly ducked under a staircase for this shot. I thought the shadows would be a nice experiment for shooting [:

Thoughts on a windowsill... (Ryan Frederickson, 2013)

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Why is it that old buildings and naked ladies never gets old? 

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Busy, and not busy enough. How does that even work? I'm finding myself struggling to get enough real work done (and so it sounds to me that everyone I know is having the same problem!). I've had some shoots, and a few figure modeling sessions. I continue to crave attending some life drawing sessions where I get to draw rather than model. It'll happen.

I'll be working with some new people soon which is exciting to me. I love working with some of the same people I have in the past, but I always like to cast my net out farther when I can. I do love modeling for that reason (among many others) - I genuinely like to just go out and meet someone, engage for a while, and then come back and think about the experience. I love to hear others' stories and hope they like to hear mine. I think I enjoy the process of getting to know someone more than knowing them (not always true, but I do it so much I do begin to wonder).

I'm looking forward to having some paintings of myself (finished) to share someday, hopefully sooner rather than later, and some new photos to revamp my portfolio. I feel that I am looking for something different to add to it but I'm not sure what it is. 

Finding a somewhat safe (as far as 'safe' goes in a public space where trespassing is prohibited, or where anyone else is around to notice a nude figure) outdoor location to shoot in is somewhat difficult, I'm finding, here in the Bay Area. Has anyone else had similar troubles? I like to revisit some of the old haunts, but it seems that there are more people out at them than I remember. I could really use some help on locations! Sometimes photographers ask me if I know of places and I sadly reply that I do not. As the days get shorter and the cold draws near, I will soon cease to do much outdoor nude shoots at all, which can be a bummer. But, I can focus on other things in the meantime :]

Reflections

I have been enjoying my mini-hiatus of modeling, though I did have an awesome spontaneous shoot with the wonderful Dan West, and am pleased to see some neat images from it! 

Photos by Dan West, September 2013

 I'd never modeled on a mirror before - so that was a new experience! Whoops, I may have just given away a great secret...oh well ;] I'm especially in love with the bottom image he compiled. I only wish I could see a color image because the wall was such an interesting color and texture against my skin. If I see anything more I will be sure to share :]

I've been invited to write a little blog post on Model Society  (where I have recently joined; if you are on there let's connect!) so I will be taking time to reflect on my modeling work; what got me inspired/interested, what I do, enjoy about modeling, maybe my perspective on the kind of modeling I do, how it affects me in my normal life and how I feel about how I'm achieving my goals, about my helping others or not.... It will take a while to write it up, but my hope is to get it out this week, and for those of you who are not in the Model Society network, I can share it here when it's finally been featured [:

I look forward to it, as I typically do when given time and space to reflect on myself. I tend to keep very busy and forget to make time for myself; this week may have some of that very necessary time. 

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On Sunday I went to go see the current exhibition at the SFMOMA called Beyond Belief. The premise of the show is how artists have used their art to explore and depict religious or spiritual phenomena or experience. I thought I'd share some selected works here. I am not typically one to enjoy modern art, but the admission was free (yay!) and I enjoyed reading about the pieces in the show (connecting them to the piece itself I usually thought the words were better >.< ). 

Some of the figurative works were interesting, and  this one was my favorite. 

I was especially impressed with the fact that this was a larger than life print of a photo (using a technique that I can't remember the name of! arg) on just one large sheet. That'd be a whole hell of a lot of photo developing chemicals and it turned out great! Now does anyone know how that would work? Projection? a really good enlarger? o.O

 Does anyone want to do this with me as their model? haha :D

Things That Are Still Uncomfortable But Not Quite As Much As They Used To Be Before I Was An Art Model

- parts of my body going numb and falling asleep, resulting in my limping awkwardly off the model stand and that horrible pins-and-needles sensation coupled with almost falling over after each sitting

- spending a long time with my head/neck turned one way

- resting on one elbow, hip, toe, buttcheek...

- feeling like everyone in the room is staring at you...and knowing that they ARE :P

- seeing that little glowing red dot (laser pointer) appear on your body over places like your nipples and groin and trying to not laugh while the instructor is explaining to the students how to measure certain parts of your body and pointing out important light and dark shapes

- waiting for your body to cool down but hyper-aware of that one little sweat drop trickling agonizingly slow down your body...

- when you get a sudden itch somewhere. Knowing that if you wait, it will go away, but nonetheless it's a two minute battle to not reach up and scratch it...

- irresponsible (lol) eye twitches, or other body part twitches

- being cold...and having painfully hard nipples.
 
 

(to be continued if I can ever think of other things :P)

The only thing I can say that is STILL uncomfortable if I am modeling is....
the urge to sneeze but not being able to! Why the devil is this so goddamn annoying no matter what?!

____________________________________________________

Today was the last day of the two week workshop I was doing at the Golden Gate Atelier. A collective sigh of relief to all, but also a little sad. It was fun, but I'm glad to have an opportunity to take a little modeling break...at least till my last Thursday night session next week. I wish I had asked some of the students if I could take photos of their work to share here. I was doing a lovely seated pose on a stool, and everyone made great drawings and paintings for their skill level. I had the chance to speak with some of the students and could tell they were very appreciative of the experience and felt that they were going to be able to take a lot away from it. Yay! I was praised for my modeling, for which I am glad. Always, always, always thank your art models. Sometimes they are struggling, too, but are there for you! (bad rhyme) My bad skin has flared up more and it's been making me feel quite down and awkward to be modeling, but such is life, and I will always stay committed to artists so they can get work done. I will be glad to start September with a new mindset. Yeah, it will probably take me all week to get over it...

LAST EDITED 4.22.2014 :]

Well....Figures

Sometimes I receive images from photoshoots where I really like my figure (I'm thinking, "Dude, I'd draw that!" haha) but the overall photo is not all that impressive (either from lack of experience in lighting, blurriness, or poor photoshop skills...all of  which takes a lot of time and energy to do well, so I certainly don't blame anyone for having a 'less-than-ideal'-image). It makes me wonder - which is more important, the pose and figure or the overall image? It's an interesting interplay because I typically find that for me, I prefer both (ideally) to work well in the photo. But at times I find that a simple image that is not very well executed can still be visually pleasing if the pose is just right. It also just depends on if the image is to be used for reference, or as a figure study, in which case the photo doesn't have to be interesting per se, but should still have good focus. 

But, nonetheless, I thought I'd share some images of me that I like but feel lack in some way, either on my part (sometimes I am a mauvais, bad, model) or the photographer. Sometimes these photos are from individuals learning basic photo lighting, etc. (not anyone claiming to be professional) so to say that the image is 'bad' is totally inaccurate, and that is not something I am trying to imply here. Just saying, I  think they're almost perfect! :] 

photo by Robert Mandel, 2013

photo by Nelia, 2012

photo by Ilya Malinkov, 2013

photo by Daniel, 2012

photo by Dave Brown, 2012

photo by Alastair Lockett, 2013

photo by Charles Nevols, 2013

photo by Charles Nevols, 2011 or 2012

photo by Winston, 2012

photo by John Green, 2013

After A Long Silence....

I return! With musings and such to write about.

 I have been busying myself with a lot of commuting around the Bay Area, summer travels, and of course, modeling. My latest 'gig' has been at the amazing Golden Gate Atelier, located right in my area. I'm there quite a bit now, and hopefully they'll enjoy me enough to have me stick around for longer :] I love love love working for this school; it's small, intimate, and the students and faculty are colorful and interesting people. (not that I've talked to many at great lengths, but I can tell.)

It's awesome to take a look at everyone's drawings or paintings during my breaks and seeing the exciting work going on there. The only problem is that I crave more time to attend to my own drawing and paintings each time I sit for theirs.

I had another (long due) shoot with Steve Gatlin, which I still have yet to see photos from. I haven't worked with him in almost a year! It was nice to catch up, and participate in his workshop. I am still amazed that I was able to hold up another three hours in the middle of the night, outdoors!

I've also had the joy of modeling for Dana Davis, a quirky, fun photographer who specializes in taking bodyscape type photos. I don't think anyone else has been able to capture my skin tone in it's natural form in such a beautiful manner. I think it's pretty great [:

Photo by Dana Davis, 2013

In the mean time, most of where I am and will be in the next month or so will be at the atelier, at the studio in Napa, or home. I would love to get out and do more photoshoots but I've come to realize I've been living out of bags for the last month or so, and I'm starting to crawl into my shell of had-too-much-social-working-time. I am naturally a little more extroverted than some, but there will always be a breaking point when all I want to do is haul up in my bedroom, maybe read, maybe draw, maybe write, and reflect. And I feel that time coming up now. I will try to book shoots when I feel more up for it.

*

As some of you (who is my audience? I'm not sure) may know, a large part of my beginning modeling (art modeling, to be certain) has been my desire to help other artists create work they find moving and inspiring and beautiful. I think it'd be a good idea to write a blog post about which photos or drawings I've been a part of that I've really enjoyed. I took figure drawing classes in college and absolutely loved and admired the models I had the opportunity to draw. I thought it was so great that they were willing to take the time out of their day to pose for me, to help my understanding of anatomy and porportion. I only wish I had been better at capturing a likeness! :P I thought it was something I could do, eventually, as a way of giving that feeling of appreciation back. And now, here I am, doing just that. It makes me feel happy. I've had very few awkward or uncomfortable moments. I hope this will be something I can continue for as long as possible [:

Buggy

Photo by Shane [AspergianLens], April 2013

The modeling life.

It's good.

I had a funny shoot recently, whereupon I was attacked by flesh-eating bugs everywhere we went! I was worried about not giving the photographer enough good shots, as after a minute of posing there would be dozens of insects all over me. Mosquitoes and ants...spring time always seems to be the perfect time for those nude in nature photoshoots, but not always....

I modeled for a watercolor class tonight and felt very pleased with the whole session. I never had very good luck with watercolors myself, they are very strange and almost counter-intuitive to work with to me. I admired the work - so fluid and lose and colorful in a very beautiful way. 

I am hoping that in the near future I will work with some photographers whom I have been looking forward to working with for a while. Scheduling time (for everything) is difficult. 

In May, I will be dog sitting for two weeks. My mom has a standard poodle (who is so energetic and friendly!) who I will be needing to take with me everywhere I go. So if anyone who is wanting to work with me from May 8th to the 24th, and happens to be reading this, please take that into account. 

Stay tuned ;]

Musings - When a Model Needs a Model

So, in my other life, I am an artist. I am not amazing, still learning, but I adore drawing and painting traditionally. I adore looking at people and animals and things and have that urge to recreate and reinvent and visualize and make marks. And currently, I don't do that enough D: It is what, in fact, got me interested in art modeling to begin with - in a few figure drawing classes, I came to respect and admire the working life of an art model. I was appreciative of their willingness to come pose for the class and share an intimate three or so hours of time exposing their bodies and their personalities through their poses. Some models (like me) are a bit more reserved, or somehow proper, while others are much more edgy and easy-going. I loved all of it - the old, saggy models to the just-my-age models. I loved the male models and the female models. I loved the way some of them brought props and demanded attention from us artists, and the way others were visibly timid. When I thought about it, I realized that I too, could manage sitting still for extended periods of time and being naked. In fact, I really wanted to do that. To be on the other side of the drawing board, so to speak.

When I first met Keira Grant, I also played with photographing her, partially to learn a little more about studio photography with a model and digital photography in general, but was pleased to get some decent reference photos for potential future drawing/painting ideas. I am currently working on a graphite drawing of her (okay, I've been working on it for the last 6 months, and it would have been done by now if it weren't for my taking a break), the first real rendering in graphite I have ever attempted....and it's going pretty all right, if I say so myself. I've had help, a lot of much needed help, from Ryan Frederickson, thank goodness.

In progress graphite drawing by me - from a photo reference I took.

 Model is Keira Grant. 

I'm hoping this will be done in the next week or two. I mean, really, there's like just one leg and a foot left to do, and any additional touches at the end. Then I hope I will continue to make the necessary time for art making. Because, even as an art model, I need models at times. Unfortunately I can't hire models - but there are some amazing models who are willing to help out a couple of artists for the sake of art. That's why we're called....art models?! If I get a chance to repay, or pay models, I would do that, but for now photo references may be the best thing to do. Or sharing paying for figure models. Or something.

I look at a lot of pictures of models. Sometimes I look at them with an open mind and without bringing in any negative thoughts about myself, personally. Other times it's inescapable. Maybe not every model has insecurities, but this one does. This one wonders why she's willing to undress before a group of strangers and create shapes with her body in the first place when she sometimes feels she can't go outside because she just can't look herself in the mirror. It's a funny world.
Sometimes I come across models who I can just tell must be the most awesome people - AND - they have a look I feel inspired by! What do I want to do? Draw them. But can I hire them? NO. So....dilemma. I guess we all have those. Let's just say I'm glad for Keira and look forward to the day(s?) that I can hire and draw models. Who would I want to draw? It depends. Some lovely tattooed people, some lovely men and women and trans people, and definitely people with folds and wrinkles. The more the better.










The more the better.

More Painting Classes

I started modeling this morning for a 10 week long painting class. This is the only pose I will do for each class session for the entirety of the class. I am kind of wishing I could be getting a massage right now.

The students for this class have their basic drawing skills down and are not foreign to painting, which is neat. I love the casual feel to the class and how lively and talkative and friendly everyone is. I even get coffee so I am happy even if I can feel that my lower back is going to hate me later.

With permission, I may later share some of the student work as we move through the weeks for this class :]

Below is a picture of an in progress painting by Jody Mattison, the instructor.

AfterThoughts

Photos by Dan West, March 2013

I've been silent on here for a while. I've had a few very positive modeling gigs this month, which have also supplied my first months' rent (yay!). I have mixed feelings about being a pretty much pay-only model now, but at least I'm flexible. I had a nice hike and shoot with Dan West, who upon meeting I immediately liked. There was no nervousness or awkwardness at all. I think this is the second photog I've had this kind of experience with, which is exciting. That usually implies to me a kind of creative connection that is rare...or that I'm just loosening up a little and getting more comfortable with this whole modeling thing. In any case, I'm pretty happy with some of the photos and also looking forward to our potential trip to Death Valley next month for a few days of shooting there. Maybe I'll be able to work up a little tan :P

I've been modeling for painting classes and drawing classes, which I still love to do. I just have to laugh at myself a little for sometimes being a little jealous of the artists who are there to draw/paint while I'm modeling. I haven't done much of my own artwork lately and it's starting to bother me. I guess I should get on that. I do love modeling but I also love drawing, and there must be a balance of helping others learn and create while continuing my own learning and creating.

I just caved recently and got an iPhone. I feel so funny with it, and it still feels a little out of place in my life. But I think it will be a very useful tool in the long run, and I look forward to figuring it all out (no pun intended). :P

I think that's it for now. I'll try to keep updating, so stay tuned :]

Thoughts on Canceling....

I am not perfect. I have last-minute cancelled on photoshoots because of feeling ill (I have a history of gastritis and attacks of nausea), feeling not my best to model that day (usually a combination of insecurity due to some sort of physicality issue and feeling emotionally drained), or because I have forgotten about a previous commitment. It is usually something that I can reschedule with the photog, if he/she is willing - but understandably, they are not always. But I wonder how easy it is to find (nude) models? It seems the photog is hurting him/herself and the model by not allowing some degree of flexibility.
(For photography it seems pretty easy to find models, and to be honest I have only ever last-minute cancelled on photography, never for life drawing or painting).

Sometimes the photog is part of a team that does not reschedule "flaky" models
(I say in quotes because I personally do not think it is flaking if there has been communication that I can't show - even last minute. I personally think of flaking as simply  not showing at all, with no serious thought or attempt to communicate. I do realize this is not the general meaning of the phrase, but, maybe because I know I have good intentions and would follow through if given a chance to reschedule, is my reasoning)
or no-shows which to a fundamental degree I can "get", but I feel it's a bit of a harsh rule. Not only does the photog by their own "rules" lose a model completely, but the model loses a photog completely, even before meeting! Somehow that just seems wrong to me. If there was a negative experience or a lack of communication than that by all means would allow for the model and photog to cancel each other out. I would agree that a "flaky" model may not ever get a third chance to model for the team again due to that last-minute cancelling, but writing them off the list of potential models right away seems harsh to me. Maybe that's just me & my way of doing things. I would always give a second chance, and then strike out.
But to be fair, as a 'professional' model I do need to stop doing that. It's all a matter of taking care of myself, which I am still working on. (Funny, you'd think that models had their shit together, but some of us, like myself, don't seem to....)

What do you guys think? Am I just not taking things seriously enough? To be honest I feel with art models there is or could be room for flexibility - we're not doing high end fashion-y stuff or anything that needs to be done by a deadline, right? So what is all the fuss about? o___O
I may just need some convincing words to get my thoughts straightened out. Or not.
*ponders*

Photo Class

Crappy cell phone photo:

Kisses for my boyfriend. Enjoying the sunshine with my music and my hoops before getting ready for my photo session :P

I had a new experience in my journey as an art model last night - modeling for a photography class. It was a local gig, and a small class (about 7 students) but I was feeling somewhat nervous. I'm definitely still a new model, and not as used to photography even if that is a lot of what I do now a days. But working with one or two photogs is easy - working with 7 is not yet easy for me. Not that it was difficult - I just like knowing what the photog wants or expects of me....not very self-directed I guess? But then, maybe it was the nerves? Anyway, it seemed a bit unorganized and a bit chaotic to me, though eventually I relaxed more. I overheard something someone say about the previous model and that brought on a tiny insecure voice in the back of my head. I may not be the most outgoing model out there, and especially when working with new people, but I fear at times that my quietness and focus is taken for being boring. I guess I just like to take things more in a more serious manner typically, in part because I'm shy. It frustrates me. I'm working on it...
But then at the end of the session a lot of praise was given to me, and there was talk of my coming back and some of the students even offered to connect me with other artists that I could work with in the future.
I do have another workshop or two coming up, which I will tend to in an open attitude and see how it goes. I do tend to think that each of my modeling experiences are slowly adding to making me a better model when I am feeling more optimistic but other times I feel that I should stop kidding myself and just give it up. It's a weird line to walk, and I need to just ditch it.

\end blarg

Home Again

Photo by Jim Henderson, 2013

(it is an infared photo)

I've been home in the lovely sunny San Francisco Bay Area again for a while now, but after dealing with some personal things I am back in the swing of things (I hope ._.) I am waiting for images from my Seattle photog but otherwise pretty happy with the results from everyone else. Some I have not put up since they are proofs. I am pleased that on my first solo road trip and first attempt at being a traveling art model I (at least!) broke even on my trip. Yay! Anyway. 

I am happy to have finally scored some very local gigs for art and photography classes! I have my first photography class session tomorrow evening. Come to think of it - this will be the first time I'll have modeled for a photo class. I am anticipating it will be somewhat different, but I'll just have to find out. 

I am happy about this (and an upcoming painting class gig) because as I've probably mentioned before, my love for modeling for learning purposes makes me the most happy. I do love being a part of creating art and molding myself to a vision when I work with photographers, but I feel there is more purpose at times for being the subject of someone who is learning to do something with the figure. That definitely comes from my own experience back in figure drawing (which, I should really get back into!)

I am thinking I may need to finally catch up in the technology age and get myself a smart phone. Then it'd be easier to post images of in-progress artworks and keep track of my schedule through a better calendar (if you've worked with me before, you may remember that I often suffer from short term memory issues - such a shame for someone so young -_- and that is part of the work I have to do with my modeling! - just remembering my schedule! ugh...). My main issue is my fear of being one of "those" people who are glued to their phones. I am already a bit glued to my phone and it doesn't even have access to the internet. It may just mean practicing a bit more discipline :] Which I realize I need to to in many areas of my life. It'll happen. I just have to make it.

Port Townsend

Here I am chilling in the sweetest little town I've ever visited. 

 

I had a wonderful time adventuring in Portland (wished I could stay a little longer) and had three great shoots (no photos yet). I must say I could get used to this traveling art model thing :] Each shoot so far has been fairly positive and I have a new plan to come back to the area to work with a photographer here who I feel I connected with. The goal will to do a day or few day trip with a few other models. That'd be awesome. But, who knows where or what I'll be doing six months or more from now.

While driving from Portland to Port Townsend along the Hood Canal, this overwhelming urge to silence my music in the car and drive in silence came over me. The huge mossy trees, the ragged branches and the steely water just had this silent demanding presence. I will be simply enjoying myself here - no photoshoots until I get to Seattle. I am hoping the sun will come out tomorrow so I can adventure outdoors a bit more. 

 

 

Much to Explore

I am on my first solo road trip. Me and my old car have made it successfully to Portland, OR, where I had my first shoot of the trip (today, that is). It went well, much better than expected actually. I have not had much time to explore Portland much though, as it is a short stay here and I've been mostly seeing through my dirty car windows, which is not really seeing the city at all. Today after my shoot I attempted to explore downtown, but with little luck. Perhaps Seattle (two stops from now) will be more promising.

I've always enjoyed driving alone. I tune into my mind and feel the roar of my engine under the beat of my music as I tear down the freeway (safely, mind you). Now I've really gotten to test my limits. I drove about 7 hours (with only two short pit stops) to southern OR where I stayed with some friends. It's so different up here in OR compared with CA. Fascinating, really. I find Portland to be full of beautiful young people, whom I all want to meet and talk with. I am so glad to have a GPS with me - I don't think I could have gotten around with out it, the roads out here are so strange to me.

After my shoot (where I got to play in a large cardboard box) I got two beers and wandered in Powell's City of Books (store). I wished I'd been a wee bit more sober for that adventure. I came back to my 'home-base' where a family friend has been gracious enough to let me stay. She cooked a quick and amazing parsnip-pasta and asparagus dish paired with wine. Probably the most food I've had this whole trip so far -when in travel mode I can somehow go many days only nibbling at food and never actually filling myself, so this was much needed. Yay! Yum.

Tomorrow I have two shoots! Busy day. I love being a nude model. Sometimes I feel really down about it, but so far this trip has only reconfirmed my admiration and determination for doing what I do. I am grateful for this opportunity to travel and explore, both literally/physically but also inside, emotionally. I am at a strange fork in my life, a tipping point with much change forthcoming...and there are decisions to make, paths to consider taking.

 It's only a matter of time and effort.